Dear Alexis,

I write this post to you for you to understand about your personal adoption story. God placed a desire in my heart to have another child, specifically a little girl, in June 2006. Your daddy and I had already closed the door to any more children, but God as we know, is relentless when we open our heart to His will. We examined state adoption, open adoption, and international adoption from various countries. It was December 2009, when we took the leap of faith and filed an application to adopt from China. We were initially told that the wait would be 3 years and 9 months. That seemed way too long and it could not possibly take that long, but boy was I in for a long roller-coaster ride of emotional turmoil. We finally got the anticipated call 4 years and 1 month later. Throughout the wait, God was always by my side whispering to me of His promise to bless us with a child.

I was so very nervous on the Gotcha Day. I was so filled with anxiety that all would go well, that we would bond together as a family. When I first saw you I cried and cried to finally see and touch you. From the first sight of you, I knew you were the most beautiful girl in the world! I tried to go slowly as I approached you as to not frighten you. The nanny from the orphanage would point to the photo album we had sent and say, Mama, then point to me. You said, “Mama,” and touched my chest. This made my heart melt and I cried all the more. So long had I waited to hear those words.

The first 2 days Alexis,  you, were a little shy, reserved, and clung to me, which I dearly loved. Whenever you would cry you would heave a loud sigh and you would wipe large droplets of tears from your gorgeous eyes. Christian and I agreed that it was the most pitiful sight that broke our hearts. The three of us loved you from the start. We had been waiting for you for 4 years and 4 months.

To help you become accustomed to us, we called you by the name your foster family called you, Tian Tian, pronounced Tin Tin, meaning Little Sweetie. The first 2 days you avoided eye contact and would even roll your eyes at us when you did not like something or when we tried to make you laugh. American humor is quite different to the Asian culture. You definitely would let us know when you did not like something with a adamant shaking of your head no.

The nanny had said you had liked to run, but you loved to be carried most everywhere which helped with the bonding. She also said you loved to sing. We noticed this on walks in the park you would break out singing the sweetest melody of the Cantonese version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I would sing the English version while you would sing yours. What bilingual education! We found out also your favorite song was Where’s Daddy, a popular Cantonese pop song about daddies bringing their city children to the mountains to fish, play, and explore. What adventurous days ahead you have with your own daddy.

On the 4th day at the Pagoda Botanical Garden we all noticed a definite change in your behavior and mood. You began to assert your will for what you wanted; whether it was to go further on the path or wanted to be held instead of being in the stroller. This morning before we left I had been reading my Bible study by Lysa Terkeurst, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, about the importance of a father. Our guide David brought our family to eat at a fabulous and scenic Chinese restaurant called Ubud. At this point you were still solely attached to me, but at this lunch is when your heart bursted with love and joy in your daddy. You began to play and giggle and at one point you looked at him and motioned for him to pose for the camera with you. From this day on your guard has been let down. You dance with him, run and jump on him, hug and yes, even give him your 1st kiss. I know from personal experience there is nothing like a daughter’s love for her father. Nothing!

From the start of our adoption journey, Christian has wanted a little sister to care for. He has so many scenarios planned out for taking care of you, whether walking you to and from school, or taking care of a nasty bully. It took a little while for you to warm up to him. He would get up close and you would put your hand up in his face and wave for him to get back. I know it hurt his feelings, because we felt you would take to him first being a kid. From the beginning Christian was the official bottle maker and stroller pusher throughout the busy streets of Nanning. What made the difference and helped you bond with Christian was how he was able to pick up on the language so quickly. He would use his translator or ask David, our adoption rep. for a word or phrase to say and you simply would respond, whether it was hold hands, be gentle, or to eat. Christian had bridged the gap of language difference and formed the desired bond. After we arrived in Guangzhou he began to help put you to bed, read your nightly story, and even snuggling with you in bed. What a wonderful big brother you have!

Some of my current favorite things about you Alexis is: your contagious laughter that is so loud and uncontrollable you almost fall over while standing up, the way you swing your arms as you sashay, when you are happy you sing, the largest smile, the way you hop and skip when you walk, and the best for last is the way you feel like you have always been a part of our family.

Our family is getting a little girl named Guo Tian Lin, whom we will call Alexis Lin Floyd. It was the night before New Year’s Eve when we got the call at 8:30 P.M. Elmo and I were playing Rummy-O while the guys were napping, yes napping, it was indeed a vacation. CCAI, our adoption agency, was working late due to getting files from CCCWA shared list. Judy Winger called and joyfully said, “We found a precious little girl for your family.” I am crying with joy remembering this moment. I felt such happiness and relief in soon being joined with the child God planned for us to love. I do believe the Chinese tale of the red thread that binds us together no matter how far apart we are.

That evening Scott and I went into fast mode to email the following to read the file referred to us: Dr. Dibs, international adoption specialist at Johns Hopkins Hospital, Dr. Scott and Wendi Smith, a friend that has adopted 6 children from China, Dr. Fearon, cranio-facial and plastic surgeon, and Beverley Lewin, our social worker. Everyone involved was quick giving positive and realistic feedback, even during a holiday. The next day we were able to speak with Dr. Dibs on the phone after she reviewed the file. Immediately, afterwards Scott and I compiled a letter of intent for adopting Alexis. We stated our family’s feeling about the adoption and our plan for medical care due to her having cleft lip and cleft palate. Scott, Christian, and I had prayed about the decision to adopt, and we had guidance and peace from God that she was meant to be our little girl. Praise God!

The following Friday while our family was shopping we got the best present ever, CCCWA had accepted our letter of intent to adopt. I cried even more tears of joy. Now, I had hope the adoption was truly going to happen. We called and spoke with Grammy and Papa. They were looking forward to getting to know their new granddaughter.  We got to meet with family in Corinth. Kamryn Alexis was thrilled to have our girl named after her. She proudly said,”I will teach Alexis everything I know!” We girls and Christian went shopping. Christian picked out Alexis’s 1st pink princess dress. He said,”I have to make the final decision on everything Alexis wears.” He is already a protective and honored big brother.

Sunday, when we attended church I had an overwhelming feeling of humility towards God. Even though we had waited 4 long years, I felt I did not deserve to have this little girl, but was so very blessed. I continued to worship God and thank Him for what he was doing for our family. I cried and cried with tears of gratitude.

Our family set about on the task of compiling a care package for Alexis to enable her to get to know us before we travel to take her home with us. Christian picked out a panda bear with a tag that read, “Where wishes come true.” Christian sweetly said,”This is a perfect stuffed animal since Alexis’s dream will come true when we adopt her.” Grammy & Papa picked out darling pj’s and cozy socks. Elmo sent fuzzy pink pants and a hooded jacket. Mr. Gras generously gave Alexis a hot pink digital camera with a SD card with extra batteries for the caregiver to take pictures. We also included a Sassy photo album full of family photos labeled in Chinese writing. The last item was a recordable device we introduced our self to Alexis. It was adorable when Christian stated proudly, “This is Bubba.”

Presently, Scott and I are busy filling out and filing the multiple pieces of paperwork and getting fingerprinted. Grammy & Papa gave Alexis a dresser. Scott and I stripped the paint off and Scott repainted it. Scott also made a butterfly headboard. We also painted Alexis’s book shelf Scott made and filled it with wonderful picture books that Christian enjoyed and I am eager to share with Alexis. Christian has been busy putting together Alexis’s 2 new strollers. As a family we registered at Target, Toys R Us, and online with Amazon. Christian insisted on getting his own gun to zap items for our registry. He thought long and hard on toys for his little sister. They had to be just right. Oh, my goodness has it been fun picking out cute toddler items.

 

 

 

This afternoon on Monday, September 10, 2012 Scott and I filled out the electronic Medical Conditions Checklist. Christian and I will say often that we feel that whether we are bicycling or camping, etc. it feels that our girl should be HERE with us enjoying the things we are doing as a family. I am reading the Connected Child to help me be the parent God wants me to be for our child. It is so difficult to contain my emotions when talking to others about the adoption. I desperately want to be excited like our child is coming home tomorrow, but no one gives us any indication on a time-frame. I do feel God’s preparation in my heart. Christian has even planned out many scenarios for when his sister starts school such as when someone bullies his sister or he is excited about picking her up from school. I have begun to pray for our child’s safety and to be loved by her care giver until we meet and we can love her.

One may ask why adopt from China.  Well, before Scott and I got married I saw a little girl from China with her parents.  I excitedly told him one of these days I would like to have a girl that has beautiful glossy black hair, fair skin, almond shaped eyes, and is small and petite.  He subtly reminded me he wasn’t Chinese.  I said, “Well, I’d like to adopt.”  Here we are 20 years later waiting to be matched to our beautiful child.  On July 7, 2010 we were officially logged in in China as a waiting family.  It is a monumental day.  There is a long wait ahead for our family, but the wait will definitely be worth it.  I pray for our unborn child to have health and love from the caregivers.  God has a purpose in our wait.  When the time comes we will be joyfully bonded to the God chosen gift from above.  Even though I have never met this child, I already have love in my heart.